Work accidents in the factory of the world's leading confectioner

29/05/2009

Only this week I read a shocking account of health and safety breaches of the most shocking and appalling nature imaginable occurring at the factory of the world's leading manufacturer of chocolate and confectionery. Not only did it detail a number of work accidents involving an illegal migrant workforce, it also explained in detail how four children all suffered irreversible personal injury in four separate industrial accidents, all in the same day.

Aside from the brazen use of a captive and racially stereotyped pygmy-like workforce who seem to be pacified only by the routine distribution of their narcotic of choice, perhaps the most disturbing aspect of this case is the way the head of the factory, a Mr W Wonka, seems to actually mock the misfortune of the injured children.

If you've not by now worked out what I'm referring to then I can only assume you've not read the same account. You're likely to be in the minority, for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is one of the world's most popular and widely read books and within its pages, its author, Roald Dahl, succeeded in creating a description of hazardous workplace that is unrivalled anywhere in children's fiction.

So hazardous, in fact, that it is hard to know where to begin. That said, I must being somewhere, so why not with the Chocolate River?

The Chocolate River
Wonka may boast, "There is no other factory in the world that mixes its chocolate by waterfall," but perhaps this is for good reason.

The potential for contamination is vast. And if Cadbury's, with its stringent food hygiene processes, has already twice fallen foul of salmonella scares, imagine the risk of a serious outbreak at Wonka's factory. The product liability risk would be huge.

And then of course, as Augustus Gloop knows too well, there is the simple risk of the Oompa-Loompas suffering a work accident by falling in.

The Great Glass Elevator
There are two of these, they run simultaneously, in opposing directions, and there is only one track: can you spot the problem?

Wonka could, but he had a fatalistic attitude, nonchalantly explaining to concerned parents that a lift accident "hasn't happened yet".

Every other room in the factory
Come to think of it, there is not a single room in the factory that does not raise a million and one work accident questions. Here are just a few of the rooms: "Exploding Candy for your Enemies"; "Fizzy Lemonade Swimming Pools"; "The Rock-Candy Mine - 10,000 Feet Deep"; and, lastly, the "Television Room", where Mike Teavee is transported by television, which results in him being shrunk to a mere inch-high.

I could describe them all, but you'd be better off reading the book, if you're one of the few who haven't already…

Can I claim?