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Wow, all you marginalized-feeling "real men" out there, it seems you may finally have something to feel good about. Yes, that's right, a new piece of research has revealed what you have always know anyway - that you are likely to be better driver than a woman or a homosexual man. So, just why then are men, in pure theoretical terms at least, less likely to cause a car accident than those at the opposite ends of the gender and sexuality spectrums.
Well, I won't pretend I know the answer to this so will instead hand things over to those who do. Scientists from Queen Mary, University of London recently conducted a study into the subject, testing driving-related aptitudes such as spatial awareness and navigation.
Lead researcher Dr Rahman comments, "Men are good at using distal, or geometrical cues, to decide if they're going north or south, for instance. They have a better basic sense of direction, but they can use local landmarks as well.
"Driving in a novel environment which is poor in cues is where these differences are likely to show up most.
"Women are going to take a lot longer to reach their destination, making more errors, taking wrong turns etc. They need more rich local landmarks."
So, in short, although women and men may be on a par in a familiar driving environment where they are able to rely on a series of well-rehearsed cues, as soon as things become a little strange, the natural abilities of men allow them to navigate the alien environment more safely.
Yet that still doesn't explain why straight men are more capable drivers than gay men. However, a closer examination of the data gathered by the study shows that gay men, lesbian women and straight women all earned comparable scores, navigating in the same way.
It was only straight men who showed a greater capacity to avoid a car accident scenario when driving in an unfamiliar environment.
Dr Rahman comments explains, "Gay people appear to show a ‘mosaic' of performance, parts of which are male-like and other parts of which are female-like."
However, while there may be some generalized truths in the study, one inevitably worries that all will do is serve to enhance tired old stereotypes about who truly "belongs on the road".
No where are the dangers of such prejudice in evidence than in Italy, where last year a man was made to resit his driving test simply because he had revealed he was gay. That was it, no other reason, he had not even been involved in a car accident, committed an offence or made a mere whiplash claim. The authorities simply cancelled his license and told him he must resit due to "sexual identity disturbance".
Anyway, blokey-blokes, I will say no more and instead let you enjoy this moment of triumph.
