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No win, no fee claims and the comedian's allegedly rat-infested coiffure

Recently a friend of mine who attended the Drama Centre with Russell Brand during the 1990s told me how the now comedian was not only a dreadful actor who once self-harmed because of a poor response to one of his performances but also a rodent-loving misfit who allowed a pet rat to nest in the impenetrable kingdom of his considerable bouffant. Naturally, as I work for a no win, no fee claim company, this little snippet of information, however apocryphal it may be, got me thinking about the personal injury threat of allowing pets in the workplace.

Now, I'm not for a minute suggesting that the Drama Centre, ever allowed a rodent onto its premises. In fact, I imagine that their health and safety officer, had he or she registered the existence of a rodent, would have had a hard time trying to extract it from Brand's head. He is, after all, both sprightly and promiscuous; not only would it be hard to get close enough long enough, it would also, because of the comedian's reputation for jumping anything within touching distance, be an unnerving experience. Then there is the fact that Brand's coiffure could so easily pass for a millionaire rat's luxury pad, it would not exactly be easy to coax out the reposing rodent.

For all we know it could still be there. It would certainly explain Brand's restlessness as he nimbly cavorts around the stand-up stage as if he has a wedgy that is proving just a bit too pleasant for to warrant dislodging - I too would find it hard to keep still if I was home to a penthouse rat's nest.

Perhaps the rat has since fostered a whole family, you just don't know with some of the parties Brand attends. Interestingly, there are several collective nouns used to describe a group of rats. One of them, "mischief", seems unerringly appropriate to the course Brand's career has taken. Maybe he is no longer in control; perhaps the rats have taken over and are using Brand as a conduit for their own mischievous comedic ends. Perhaps, on these grounds, we can excuse Brand his lapses in taste.

Who knows, maybe he needs saving? Perhaps someone should pin him down like a sheep at the shearer's and shave him bald. Should we do it before the rats do something awful, perhaps even the kind of thing that could prompt a stand-up audience member into nmaking a no win, no fee claim?

Although rats might not be the pet of choice for the majority of animal lovers, there are signs that they are increasingly welcome in the workplace. Dog owners in particular, encouraged by such events as Take Your Dog to Work Day, have had some success in taking their animals to work, with studies indicating that they can help reduce workplace stress, increase productivity and foster better internal company relations.

Of course, where there is a risk of personal injury, perhaps a dog bite or one of the many illness associated with rats, workers are forbidden from ever taking pets into any sensible workplace. After all, what business would ever welcome the publicity associated with being the subject of a rat-bite no win, no fee claim?


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