School reunions. Get your own back on a bully

Whether you had the best time at school or you'd rather forget it ever happened, your school reunion is a perfect opportunity to show all those haters just how fantastic and successful you've become. If, like so many other ugly ducklings, you've dreamt of upstaging the "cool gang", don't ignore your next school reunion invitation. Instead, get yourself down to the local beauty salon and show them all just what a gorgeous swan you've grown into.

In today's modern and stressful life as working grown-ups, the office environment often reflects scenes of school, especially with the occasional office idiot who obviously has some issues and thinks they can make themselves feel better by spoiling somebody else's day. It's not uncommon to read new stories about workers contacting personal injury solicitors because of bullying in the workplace. If only the same could have been done at school.

With the huge success of social networking websites such as Facebook and MySpace, it's inevitable that somebody will create an event and invite everybody in your year at school, no matter what their status was. Just picture the scene, the once-smelly Susie with ginger hair and glasses demurely sipping a glass of wine and chatting to the former-pretty Patsy, who appears to be looking more like a petty thief these days in her sporty tracksuit and yellow, over processed hair.

It would be perfect wouldn't it, the ultimate payback. Of course, some people like to stage their school reunions on international television. I've lost count of the number of times I've seen a loud and disgruntled school leaver who wants to be reunited with the person that made their days at school hell. The scenario often involves the silhouette of a skinny and confident person standing behind a screen telling the audience about their terrible school years. After we get to see a picture of them in their teens, the TV host asks them to come in and they break through the paper screen background looking like a million dollars.

After the former victim has their say and they receive a rapturous applause from the audience, the talk show host brings out the person who caused all the problems in the first place. Before they even get a chance to find out why they're there, the audience goes wild like a zoo at feeding time and they boo the person as they sit down in their chair.

When the now confident school-leaver asks why the other person made their life so miserable they often get a reply saying they had no idea and didn't think they were ever as bad as the victim might believe or make out. It's always a great moment when the now fabulous person suggests that they should have made a compensation claim for the metal torture caused to them.

One of the best things about a school reunion has got to be when you suddenly realise that you're actually more confident than your former bully. This is because they tend to have the same insecurities that plagued them throughout school, making them the selfish, nasty person that they were.

If your former classmates are lucky enough to have you grace your presence at a reunion, don't lash out and tell all the so-called "cool" people what you really think of them and that you've been on the phone to personal injury solicitors because you're thinking of making a claim. Instead, act gracious and charm them with your confidence because this, in the end, will be the best pay back of all. Either that or hire a very stunning escort for the evening!

Can I claim?