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This year's list of April Fools seem to be pretty innocuous, boring even. I very much doubt whether anyone will be claiming injury compensation for the shock induced by any of 2009's offerings.
Yes, there was the frankly unbelievable story about broadsheet the Guardian abandoning its hardcopy and website editions in favour of a switch to the 140 character "Twitter format". The only hoax that had me chuckling, if not duped, was the Economist's "Econoland" story.
Apparently, it said, Econoland is going to make economics cool to kids "as part of a strategy designed to broaden the revenue base, leverage content over new platforms and promote The Economist brand to a young and dynamic audience, The Economist Group is delighted to announce the development of a public-entertainment facility that combines the magic of a theme park with the excitement of macroeconomics..."
But then, unless we are too internally disheveled to realize the date or too thick and gullible to spot a media googly, the problem with this story and with April Fools in general is the day's steadfast sticking place in the calendar; we just can't be caught off guard when we know the hoax is coming.
You'd have to be pretty bleary-eyed to be taken in by the BBC's story about Stephen Fry discovering the "shark-whale". Perhaps we'd be better taken in if all media outlets were allowed just one April Fools a year, but on a random day of their choosing.
However, if you really are that bleary-eyed, there is surely more for you to worry about than falling victim to a bit of April foolery.
This is exactly what happened to a 29-year-old Dorset woman who this week glued her eyelid shut after accidentally squirting nail glue into her right eye. Having woken one morning, feeling a little worse for wear, she had reached into her bathroom cabinet for what she thought was a phial of eye drops.
As one would expect, she quickly realized her mistake, but not in time to save her the pain, inconvenience and trauma of having her eye bonded shut for more than eight hours.
The unfortunate woman explains, "I was still really tired and I couldn't see very well, so I stumbled into the bathroom and picked the bottle off the shelf.
"As soon as I squeezed it, I knew something was wrong.
"I managed to stop it hitting the centre of the eye, and doctors told me later that it saved me from permanent damage.
"It was agonising. It was burning so much it was my natural instinct to shut my eye.
"But as soon as I did, my eyelashes stuck fast together and I couldn't open my eye again."
And, since she caused herself the mishap and consequently will not be eligible to receive injury compensation, she may well be left with a hefty medical bill, as well as a damaged reputation.
She commented, "I would hate people to think I'm just some dumb blonde, because I'm not.
"It was a nasty accident, and it could have happened to anyone but I won't be putting the bottles anywhere near each other again, that's for sure."
It's a stark reminder, if any were needed, of the importance of keeping toxic industrial substances such as glue, foodstuffs, and medicines all stored separately, lest we become both the engineers and the fools of our own fates.
I for one can hardly claim to be above such carelessness. When I was a secondary school student enjoying a week-long summer camp I developed an extreme rash around my armpits, torso and arms. I also realized that I had begun to smell funny, not least because my sweetheart could suddenly no longer bear to be within smelling-range of me.
My best mate of the time, being what teen-aged best mates so often are, had actually noticed me dousing myself in fly killer the first morning of the camp, but had thought it "too hilarious" a mistake to inform me.
Again, my own fault, so no possible redress to injury compensation, even if at the time I would have demanded, with a no win, no fee solicitor's force of argument, that my mother apologise and make amends for having made me pack my own bag.
